Are writers a helpful lot?
I have been reading a series of posts on The Blood Red Pencil based on the book, Some Writers Deserve to Starve.
Full disclosure, I haven’t read the book, just the posts. I do enjoy books that bring publishing to light for aspiring authors. And I like when things are laid on the line. In real life and in writing I hate beating around the bush. I don’t have time and just like to get down to business. So, the more information on writing and publishing the better as it may help the long road seem shorter or at least seem more navigable.
But this final entry states, according to the book, writers are not helpful to one another.
WHAT?
Not my experience at all. I’m wondering if the author reads blogs or peruses message boards or has ever asked for help from another writer. The comments on that post seem to discount this “truth” but it troubles me that the stereotype is that writers are so protective of themselves and their careers and their words that they are unable and unwilling to reach beyond themselves.
I have known writers to reach right through cyberspace and not only pull me out of writing funks but coddle my essays and my manuscript and care for them as if they were their own. I have met writers with whom I’m a kindred spirit and others different from me – but whom I still completely understand. The kindnesses have extended over generations and genres.
But…I have also emailed and questioned authors who have never responded. And I have gotten odd requests from others that gave me the heebie jeebies — and it only had to do with writing. I have *met* some writers who are arrogant and condescending and others who think they are going to bang out a book and win a Pulitzer in the time it takes me to pop waffles.
I think writers not only exemplify the best in humanity but humanity in general — defying stereotypes on hand, embracing them in the other — just like everyone else in the whole wide world – including the web world.
What have your good (and bad) experiences been with other writers? Do tell.
And while I’m at it, thanks to Christina (my rock-the-house #1 CP), Erica, Debbie, Angie, Gail, Tina, Rebecca, Marci, Jenni and many others writers who have made this adventure much more fun and fulfilling through their generosity of time and spirit.
What I’ve found is that writers who’ve had to struggle to get where they are generally are helpful of other writers. Seems they understand what it’s like to be struggling to get this thing off the ground and want to “pay it back” (or is it pay it forward???) when they’ve had success. I make it a priority of mine to reach out to other writers — especially new ones — to answer emails and so forth… I think it just makes for good writer karma.
That said… as I get a bigger audience, I get more and more emails, more and more requests for help… and while I still try to work with everyone… it’s admittedly difficult to get to ALL OF IT and still actually, uh… write.
Also, I will say I’ve encountered more than a few catty writers, who will make it a hobby to point out other writers who “aren’t good” and spend a lot of time criticizing them, not to their faces but behind their backs (and sometimes yeah, to their faces). It’s sort of one of my pet peeves.
Jennifer,
I can understand the ‘busy factor.’ I think that’s different. Writers who don’t offer personalized help or suggestions to other writers because they are “big stars” often have articles or links to resources on their websites. I think that is also a way to reach out to other writers, and to always be encouraging and positive. Sorry to hear about the cattiness you know about — I haven’t encountered that. Not yet anyway.
Amy
Well, Amy, with how you are helping me, I think you exemplify what you say. Writers do help writers and I’ve met many others, watched many others help.
Gotta say though, I would be skeptical of the ideas of an author who has that viewpoint.
Still, I am writing this by heresay (Haven’t seen the book), and you’ve admitted that you haven’t read it…perhps this was an interpretation by a frustrated reader/writer and taken out of context. Perhaps the author said this for marketing/selling purposes –to make people feel like they needed his book
and couldn’t get the info elsewhere.
I always want to think twice before jumping to conclusions. Still, I take what others’ experiences with a grain of salt. We all attract our own experiences.
Interesting. I’m good friends with a best selling author, who will remain nameless. After publication the change in appearance, attitude and personality was appalling. Money and success can turn a head that isn’t screwed on properly in the first place. Intention in life is everything in life. I associate with artists of all stripes, painters, writers, poets etc and most are generous to a fault. Art doesn’t belong to one it belongs to everyone.
delete the last ‘in life’. I’m a tired bunny today. :0
Amy, First of all, you’re more than welcome. Secondly, I can’t thank you enough for the time and energy you’ve invested in my work. And lastly, I completely agree with you – I’ve found other writers to be helpful and generally enjoy being asked to participate in making my writing better. Of course, the nature of being a writer is that we’re always busy working on a project, so free-time is limited. However, there is no greater feeling than knowing you’re not only improving your own craft every day, but contributing to others as well. Plus, I love what Val said: Art doesn’t belong to one, it belongs to every one. Beautiful.;-)
Well, my writing friends rock. They absolutely rock. Somehow, I’ve found the best of writers around.
Individually, I think writers tend to be awesome people: more compassionate, more helpful, more creative.
In general, as a whole (NOT individually), our writing culture is judgmental. Just look at the professional organizations. RWA and ITW insist on segmenting the “real” and “not real” published writers. No other professional organization in any profession I know asks you to provide your financial records to “prove” you are a “real” writer. Isn’t that a bit insane?
Also, there is a stigma to being unpublished. I wish our writing world would do more to encourage the love of the art, which means encouraging people to write for fun and treating them with equal respect, not treating them as people who are unworthy to sit in the same room with the “real” authors.
Segregation never does anyone any good, except some people’s egos. It certainly doesn’t do the art of writing (as seen by the outside world) any good.
One of my adult students just joined a music pro org so he can attend a conference. He’ll get tons out of it, have a blast, and NO ONE–even though he will be one other few non-professionals there–will treat him “differently.” In fact, they’re not likely to know he’s “different,” and if they did know, they’re more likely to go out of their way to make him feel like one of them. In fact, they’d treat him as MORE special, because he’s there for the pure love of it, you know?
Our professional organizations speak for the “writing culture,” and we have some things to work on, for sure. We really do.
Barb,
First of all, thanks! And second, you’re so right. Without reading the book I can’t gauge the author’s intent myself – so I took the blog post at face value.
“We all attract our own experiences.”
You are very wise.
Amy
Val,
I’m so sorry to hear about your writer-friend. When I daydream (did I say that?) about being a conventionally successful author, part of those daydreams is teaching and mentoring other writers. Ok, ok, it also includes a nice vacation and a new laptop.
Amy
Debbie,
We are so lucky to have found one another! I agree writers are always busy to a fault…and sometimes I’ve found I’ve put others’ work ahead of my own. Perhaps a way to procrastinate. You know, like blogging!
Amy
Spy,
I never thought of it that way, but you’re so right. I do understand the lure of networking with people who can jump start or further your career — as well as just getting together with people who “get you” because they do what you do, at any level. One of my best friends is an amazing writer. She is busy with family and work, has never been published – actually, I’m not sure she has finished more than one of the short stories she has written. LOL! I value her opinion of my work very highly.
Amy
Oh I’m all with you! I’m a die hard rely on my writer buddies! I have to! LOL! They’ve helped me soo much, seriously! I wouldn’t be where I am without all the love, support, advice and encouragement they’ve given me along the way!
Jenni,
You are such a doll…your writer buddies (me included) are lucky to know you. Your enthusiasm is contagious — even across the pond!
Amy
I’ve been writing since I was 9 years old–over 15 years, yikes!–but I never truly experienced being part of a writing community until I started blogging 2 months ago. It’s been overwhelmingly positive.
Not only have all the writers I’ve come in contact with (that includes you, Amy!) been sweet and generous, but they’re by far the most brilliant people I’ve ever met. I’ve learned so much from them already.
I feel sad for the writer of that post you mentioned, because it sounds like she had some negative experiences that have tainted her view of the writing community.
Spy brought up some really good points about some of the stigmas associated with writing. I also think that a lot of us get a bad rap because we’re naturally introverted. It’s easy to mistake someone’s shyness or social awkwardness for them being aloof. Mark Terry has a great post today about the importance of us “putting ourselves out there” to prevent that from happening. (http://www.markterrybooks.com/blog.html)
Anyway, those are my thoughts. Great discussion!
You know, I have met two truly awful writers in real life in all my years editing and writing (from a . . . “how they treat other writers” standpoint). The VAST majority of my experience has been it’s a tight-knit crew in cybespace and real life and if you seek out quality people, you will be rewarded tenfold. I was in a writing funk last week . . . and Kath Calarco dragged my ass out of it. I have never met her, but the woman rocks. Generally . . . I just, like you, can’t imagine where those writers are coming from.
EXCEPT . .. if they mean introducing other writers to their agents and editors. I have done that on a couple of occasions, but I also know it’s tricky–sometimes, maybe, you don’t think the writer is quite ready, or what have you–and if they’re going to be dropping your name, I can understand the caution. But beyond that, nope . . . I don’t see it at all.
E
My experiences with other writers (knock wood) has so far been great. More than “non-creatives,” I think most are generous and feel that by encouraging others, they are encouraging themselves and spreading around the energy. And it always comes back to you when you participate in the giving. Yeah, I’ve met a few donkeys in my time who think there’s only a certain amount of publishing marbles available, and they want ‘em all for themselves, but the majority author/writer/poet/editors with whom I’ve swapped words (in real life and the cyber world) are the unselfishh, helpful type. Including you.
*…but the majority of author/writer…* Sheesh, me need java.
My experiences are much like yours. I’ve made a lot of wonderful writing friends who have so much encouragement for other writers that it’s impossible to stay in a funk.
I’ve only emailed one author in my life and she sent me a fairly generic reply, but she did reply.