Really writing
I was lying in bed this morning, listening to the shuffling feet of a seventeen year old getting ready for summer school when I had the oddest, most unlikely urge.
I wanted to write something.
Now you might be furrowing your brow right about now, or scratching your head. I’m a writer after all and that’s what I do. But my yearning was not to throw back the covers and swipe my laptop from the floor of the seventeen year old’s room to pound out the story that whirled around in my head.
I wanted to write it. Like with a pen. On paper.
I don’t remember the last time I hand wrote anything more than a grocery list or a note to my kids or a sentence or two on the sticky paper I peeled off a new pair of socks because that’s all I could find when I thought of the perfect phrase or title or word choice.
I flexed my fingers and cracked my knuckles to see if I could get rid of the ache. Surely I was mistaken. I could type so much faster than I could write. But no, I wanted to write it down. Not just bullet points but sentences, full thoughts, a story — a beginning, middle and end.
So I got out of bed and swiped a one dollar notebook I’d saved to mail my daughter at camp. I made a mental note to add “get a new notebook” to my running to-do list on my iPhone. I found a blue pen with fine tip — if I remembered correctly that was always my favorite.
I took my supplies back to my bed. The notebook balanced easily on my knees and the pen felt at home in my hands. I’d always loved the physical act of writing — perhaps my hands had muscle memory. I scooted down and got comfy and I wrote. And wrote. Very quickly I’d written a couple of pages, a rough draft that I knew I would later or someday transcribe into my laptop. But for those few minutes this morning, I was truly what I am.
A writer.
Nice.
“I was truly what I am.”
That was a beautiful sentiment, and I’m so glad you allowed yourself that time this morning.
I love that feeling.
I’ve spent months tapping away on my laptop writing my words in circles. I went on a retreat earlier this month and took my laptop and a notebook with my favorite pen. Which do you suppose got more use? Most definitely the pen and paper. I have pages and pages of notes that I don’t think would ever have made it to the computer screen.
Congratulations for giving in.
Love this!
My personal favorites are a mechanical pencil with 0.7 size lead and spiral notebook only college ruled. Can’t fight the urge when it comes though…feels like magic.
Isn’t there something magical about a new notebook?
I always used to write by hand. Now whenever I feel stuck I turn off the laptop and go for the old fashioned way. Sometimes the juices still flow better with pen in hand. (even though my handwriting is hardly legible)
I love that feeling of knowing exactly what you are, doing. Its very comforting. = )
Love love love it!!! I’ve been doing that lately too. I’ve found that when the laptop gets intimidating or it starts feeling like flat words instead of people breathing, that writing longhand gets it going like nothing else. And I feel so much freer…free-er…is that a word? I can scribble and draw lines and arrows and scratch out and things don’t have to be perfect. For some reason when I type it all has to be formatted right the first time, I can’t leave it. And I love your sentence of “being exactly what you are”. That’s rich.