The attack of the dialogue tags
Authors hear voices. Their characters speak to them. And if they do it right, the characters also speak to one another. It’s called dialogue.
Dialogue can move a scene along, show emotion, answer questions, provide a break in prose.
But when it comes to he said, she said…what say you?
I read some where at some time that simple is best when it comes to dialogue tags, so generally my ms contains mostly “said” where necessary. I know that in written banter, each sentence need not be attributed. But when it is…what words do you use?
The thoughts behind my madness are that if you’ve written dialogue well, most of the time, you needn’t write more than said. Even “asked” can be ambiguous — because questions end with question marks. Right?
When my dear friend Debbie pointed out to me that in the first pages of Good in Bed, Jennifer Weiner used no less than eight different dialogue tags.
- observed
- asked
- yelled
- advised
- whispered
- blubbered
- corrected
- began
OK, I got the point. I didn’t mean I NEVER write anything other than said. Sometimes I do. I just find it distracting, I suppose to read when the meaning is there anyway. If someone is crying and you know that, must he sob his words?
It’s subjective – writers and readers like different things. Agents and editors have their preferences as well.
What’s your dialogue tag of choice — and which one(s) do you leave out of your manuscript?
P.S. According to every source I could find online at 6 a.m., dialogue can also be spelled dialog (before coffee it was a bit much to handle). Do you have a preference?
I tend to shy away from exlcaimed! (exclamation point redundant). Said is usually best, but I think once in a while it’s good to break it up with something really accurate and unexpected. Sometimes when Sean starts to cry, he actually sort of “squeaks” – so I’ll use that instead of cry. Animal sounds can also be accurately descriptive – barked, crowed, hissed — but you really want to use those sparingly.
My favorite is definitely blubbered.
LOL! I tend to use said, and only as a rhythm thing. I have a post I started about that. I should get it out! I do use others, but I fear it will slip into the over-dramatic childhood reading.
I don’t like no tags, though. Beyond two sentences, I put in tags. I know people say it’s okay, but I always get lost, have to count the lines, and figure out who’s talking when. I dislike that a lot. I suppose I should trust that other people are smarter than me, but… I can’t!
I agree with Antique Mommy, exclaimed, cried out, too staged. I do enjoy the unexpected tag that conjures up the appropriate image, like “squeaked” or “hissed” or “gulped” even. But, they can get distracting if used too much.
I just stumbled on your blog and will be visiting often. I’m a fledgeling writer. I write about food on JerseyBites.com but my name is linked here to some of the short pieces I have done for New Jersey Moms Blog. The Tooth Fairy Hates Me got picked up for syndication. That’s when the bug bit me. I look forward to learning a lot. Thanks.
I’m more of a K.I.S.S. writer of dialog, using “said” most often as a tag. When it’s just two people’s convo, I don’t tag each line as often. I think it helps with word flow.
Love the article! I tend toward dialogue, but it depends on my mood.
For tags, I’ve used smiled, spit, grunted, babbled, stumbled, grumbled, mumbled, begged, admitted, announced, confessed, challenged, breathed, groaned, continued, declared, demanded…. I’ll quit now.
Hi Amy!
)) I also enjoy like, squeaked, gasped, smirked… etc. But I try not to tag at all if I can help it. Instead, I show movements and actions that signal who is speaking. For example:
I prefer Growled! LOL! And Chuckled (Yes, I know this is a no-no, but I get away with it!
Taken from YA MS Mansfield Ranch, Chapter 7
Jenni James©copyright2009
With that he bent down and swiftly kissed me on the lips—just as I let out a gasp of horror.
I shoved with all of might. Harrison flew back a few steps and began to laugh. “Oh yeah, this is gonna be a lot more fun than I could even imagine.”
“Are you kidding me? You planned this? You’ve imagined this?” I was ticked. I was more than ticked, I was ready to murder him. “Where did that come from? Seriously, are you such a moron that you can’t keep the same opinion longer than a week?” Since when has this loser decided he liked me?
“It’s been three weeks. And that’s plenty of time to see that I was wrong. You know, change my mind.”
I shook my head. I totally felt like I was talking to the biggest dork on the planet. “Change your mind about what?”
“You, of course.” He grinned like he was announcing the simplest fact.
“Me? But you don’t even like me!” I was as close to yelling as I could get without losing it. “You like my flippin sisters! I’m safe! I’m the boring, stupid one, remember?”
“Oh, you’re not safe. You’ll like me in the end, I promise. Every girl does.”
Hemingway was a master of dialogue. As a reader you shouldn’t notice: said, replied, shouted, exclaimed etc. If you do, the rhythm is off, the amateur and insecurity ( loss of contact with characters ) are on stage doing their tap dance. It’s always fun to write a bit of dialogue only flash fiction if you get taken down the garden path of redundancy. Of course, I could be completely wrong.
A.M, your writing is never over-done. Always perfected cooked, and seasoned.
Deborah – glad to see you again. We have a lot in common!
Spy – I like to start dialogue with tags, and then go into natural banter, adding tags back in if it gets long.
Angie – I’m a KISS writer too, when I don’t forget!
Cindy – That’s quite a list! I think it’s a matter of personal choice – for both what we like to write and what we like to read.
Jenni – thanks for “showing” us what you mean instead of “telling” us.
Val – you are, indeed, completely right, imo.
I HATE dialog. That’s for the boxes that poop up on your computer. Dialogue is for writing (imo). I will never forget taking one of those standardized tests in high school and CRACKING UP on a spelling section because it was was one the misspelled words and that’s when I started pronouncing it (in my head) dia-la-goo. Still makes me laugh fifteen years later.
As for dialogue (*snicker*) tags, I do my best to avoid them altogether by placing action within the paragraph:
Mateo leaned against the bar. “What do you mean?”
etc…
I do use asked and whispered, but I try to limit it to that. The best advice I’ve read is to see if you can actually DO what you’re writing. If you can chortle a response, good on you, but most people chortle, then speak.
I started a book last night and have noticed “I said frostily” at least twice so far. But I still love it.
LOL! ^^^ pop. Not poop.
I clearly didn’t get enough sleep. This is the second blog I’ve done that on.
I think I use “murmured” a lot. And I hate using ‘said.’ It sounds so…generic to me.
Great post! I use the following: “replied, stated, mused, added, and mentioned”. However, I don’t write fiction. If I did I would use things like “purred” and “grumbled”.
I think they’re all subjective, just like everything else in writing, lol. JMO, use what works for YOU, and then let an editor tell you otherwise.
I’m so glad you posted this! I once looked up the writers guidelines for a literary magazine and it specifically stated something to the effect of “we think the use of too many dialogue tags looks amateurish…he said, she said is fine.” Until that point, I hadn’t really thought about it much, but now of course, I do. I just make sure not to overload a scene with them, as I think too many can make things less fluid. As a reader, I want to hear what the characters are saying instead of being told so explicitly how they are saying it.
Melanie…I strive to do what you explained. Paint a picture with my words so that reader instinctively knows “how” something is being said by a character. And thanks for the “poop” it made me laugh — now I don’t have to do Poop Post!
Melissa…like I’ve said, it’s a personal choice and I agree with Kathy wholeheartedly…do what you want until your editor tells you otherwise!
Karen…bingo!
In narrative poems I like to mix it up. Repeating “said” over and over doesn’t really work well in verse. But I do see your point WRT prose fiction.
I think I get where Ms.Weiner was coming from. I am loathe to repeat words that will occur within a short period of time so I often try to find a different way
I almost never do dialogue tags. When I do, it’s almost always said. But I try to have descriptive action to break up scenes so we know who is talking because I find it less distracting even than “she said/he said.”