The best damn Purim story ever
Originally posted here. Worth posting here.
* * *
On the way home from a Temple fundraising spaghetti dinner where eight of us razzed and hassled and harried my daughter, our server, for two hours, I was telling my friend K — who is not Jewish, but was with us for this event — about the next time I’m going to Temple.
“I’m going for Purim,” I said.
She turned her head and looked at me quizzically.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“You’re going there for PORN?” She stage whispered the last word . Our combined four kids filled the back seats of my SUV.
“PURIM!” I said laughing. “It’s a holiday, P-U-R-I-M.”
“I was going to say!” K replied, eyes wide. “Because if your Temple offers spaghetti AND porn — I am SO converting!”
* * *
Purim is celebrated by the reading of the Scroll of Esther, known in Hebrew as the Megillat Esther, which relates the basic story of Purim. Under the rule of King Ahashuerus, Haman, the King’s prime minister, plots to exterminate all of the Jews of Persia. His plan is foiled by Queen Esther and her uncle Mordechai, who ultimately save the Jews of the land from destruction. The reading of the megillah is typically a rowdy affair, which is punctuated by booing and noisemaking when Haman’s name is read aloud.
Purim is an unusual holiday in many respects. First, Esther is the only Book of the Bible in which God is not mentioned. Second, Purim, like Chanukah, is viewed by tradition as a minor festival. The elevation of Purim to a major holiday was a result of the Jewish historical experience. Over the centuries, Haman became the embodiment of every anti-Semite in every land where Jews were oppressed. The significance in Purim lies not so much in how it began, but in what it has become-a thankful and joyous affirmation of Jewish survival against all odds.
Source: URJ
Just imagine the sexy Esther outfits if this were true… oh g-d is going to strike me down for this!
Amen, sista! And, Happy Purim to you and yours. (And, if any local temples around here offered spaghetti and porn, I’d join, too! I might even join a church if that’s what they offered!!!!)
LOL!!! Porn. Very cute story.
Reminds me of my cousin bringing his Jewish wife to an Irish wake. The son of my uncle arrived coked-up out of his mind (later went to rehab) and knocked over thirty chairs, there was loid, boisterous talking, and people were hanging out by the coffin. To which she leaned over to me and said, “I don’t know WHERE to look. I don’t WANT to look at that dead body, but it’s so fascinating. All you people are hanging out in here as if there wasn’t a DEAD damn body in the front of the room.” Not a Jewish experience (versus how most Jewish families handle deaths). Then we all went out to a bar.
It’s so humorous sometimes when religions or customs collide with people outside that circle.
E
LOL, thanks for spreading the holiday joy!
Funny story. Porn and spaghetti – might have to be a new party theme. Or book title. lol. Thanks for the laugh today!
Ooh! Love Queen Esther! So I just have to ask, what did you make of the movie One Night With The King?
Problem is – from now on I’m going to have that weird moment in services every year picturing the whole cast of characters naked!